I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Houston, we have a blender
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
