I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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