we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
