I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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