my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
