I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
