508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
