Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
