How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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