Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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