like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He felt like a one man threesome
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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