But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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