halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
