my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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