And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
