Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Two words: blizzard sex
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
