I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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