my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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