Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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