I hate all girls vehemently.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
