On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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