I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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