Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
