i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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