I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Drake has all the answers
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
