Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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