I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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