I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
