I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he was CRYING into my vagina
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
