I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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