Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
