I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
