found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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