Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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