Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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