i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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