She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
