I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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