2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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