i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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