you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
