My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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