i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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