So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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