u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
