So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
