I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
