I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
