oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
