I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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