Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
