I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
