Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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