You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
