he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize