so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
