If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
