All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
