So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
