ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
