I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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