i can't believe i had my finger in that
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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