It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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